He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize