Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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