you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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