I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
