I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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