Plan B is the new Plan A
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
