I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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