you would pick up someone in the library
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
