Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
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