some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
