And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
