Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
