Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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