the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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