I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize