I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize