Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
