Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
