I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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