SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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