4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
