What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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