At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
