I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
