i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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