We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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