It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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