Having a random hookup so left but love u
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
