evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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