Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
it was like eating out sand paper
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
