Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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