Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize