Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Do vagina's smell?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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