Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
