Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
