no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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