You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
