its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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