I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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