Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
