I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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