I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
