Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
