The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
