around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Randomize