so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
