We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
