hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
