Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
