just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
