Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just made my gag reflex go away.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
