You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
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