So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
