He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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