So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
of course. lets lasso hookers.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
