We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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