therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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