tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
