this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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