Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
