The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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