Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
