he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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