I want to stick my p in your. b.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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