In the future we'll all be gay
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
