She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
