I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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