i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
